My name is Tanisha Tate and I am a caregiver. On August 16, 2013, my life changed and has never been the same since. On this day, my mother passed out in a parking lot and we rushed her to the hospital. After lots of testing, it was determined that she had a brain tumor (meningioma) that needed to be removed. During surgery my beautiful, vibrant mother suffered a stroke that left her hospitalized for 9 months. Due to complications from the stroke, she lost the use of her right side, as well as her speech. After time spent in 8 different hospitals and rehab facilities, my sister and I made the decision for her to come home and live with me. The last eleven years have been full of ups and downs as we have come to accept our new reality. Anyone that knows my mom, knows that she may have lost her speech, but has not lost her spunk. She will get you together real quick (in gibberish)! I tell people all the time that “caregiving is not for the weak”. Many times it is a thankless and difficult job, but one that I embrace every day. Being a caregiver brings about a myriad of emotions. I would tell anyone in this position that it is okay to have whatever emotion you need in order to sustain. It took a long time, but I have finally figured out how to make this situation work for me. In order to push through, I had to let go of the guilt of needing “ME Time”. A wise person once told me that “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. That is now advice that I live by. I can’t take care of my very feisty mom (and 21 year old son) if I don’t have anything left to give. I very frequently make time for what makes me happy and don’t worry about what anyone thinks of that decision. As a caregiver, you have to find a balance between having your own life and being there for your loved one. While I have had to put my life on hold, I wouldn’t have it any other way as I know in my heart that my mom would do the same for me.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. -Anonymous