“Saying No can be the best form of self-care”
NO! One of the smallest words in the English language, but also one of the most impactful words ever spoken. For most people it is also the most difficult word to speak. At least it was for me at one point. On this caregiver journey, saying NO was definitely a skill I had to practice. As a recovering people pleaser, I had to build the muscle of knowing how to say No. One of my favorite quotes that I live by actually came from Auntie Maxine Waters. Upon being interrupted, she calmly said, “Reclaiming my time!”. One way that I have found to reclaim my time is by simply saying no.
No, to the extra assignment at work.
No, mom. We aren’t going shopping today.
No, I can’t help you with that project.
And no, I can’t watch your kids this time.
As much as I would love to say YES to every request that I get, doing so takes away from the priorities that I have set for myself and they get pushed to the back burner. Your time is your most valuable commodity and if you don’t protect it, no one else will. If your plate is full-just say NO! And in saying no, you should not apologize for it. You should never feel guilty for putting yourself first.
If you are worried about pleasing others or making someone else upset by telling them no-stop that too! Solving other people’s problems is not your responsibility. And if someone is a true friend or really loves you, they will understand that if you are saying no it is for a reason. When I first made the decision to start putting me first and saying no to people and requests, it was a difficult adjustment for me and those around me. I had friends and family looking at me sideways because they weren’t use to me saying no. Some of them even had the nerve to be offended. But that wasn’t my problem to solve and guess what, when I said no-they still figured it out.
Take some time to think about how often you say yes to requests even though you are over burdened. Set boundaries for yourself. If you always say yes, when do your priorities get done? Know your priorities and communicate those priorities.
Take care of you so you better take care of others!!