Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness
At some point in life, everyone goes through a rough time or simply needs assistance to keep going through this thing we call life. During these times, for many of us, the hardest thing to do is to ask for help. And I say “US” because this post is quite personal for me and I am mostly preaching to myself as this is a skill that I still struggle with.
As a caregiver, I often find myself forgetting that at times I need someone to care for me. I’m so used to taking care of everything for everybody, being the voice of reason, and being the strong one that when it’s my turn to need help, I just push on and do it myself rather than ask for assistance. Take some advice and don’t be like me. In the long run this train of thought doesn’t benefit you or those you are caring for. Very recently, I had to have surgery that required me to sit down and be still. I will admit that this has been the hardest two weeks of my life. I have been forced to allow others to take care of me and many days that is a struggle. Have I been hard-headed a long the way? Ofcourse! But luckily, I have some people in my life that have put their foot down and made sure that for once, I was taken care of. And it feels good, y’all! Allowing others to take care of me has truly given my body the time it needs to heal. Not only that, my mental health has greatly improved. I haven’t had to stress about cooking, working, taking care of my mom, cleaning, or figuring out how to make it all happen. I didn’t even know I needed this mental break, but sometimes our bodies and our lives have a way of taking the break it needs.
I am sure we are all familiar with the expression “it takes a village”, but how many of us actually live by this saying. None of us are put on this earth to be alone. God puts people in our lives to be our village. It’s only natural to want to take care of everything on your own, to be independent, but we all must admit that we can’t do everything by ourselves. We sometimes have to lean on that tribe. It’s actually a strength to be able to self-assess and know when you need help.
However, there are lots of reason that people struggle with asking for help.
“I’m the strong friend, I shouldn’t need help.”
“I don’t want to bother others with my problems.”
“I shouldn’t have to ask for help.”
“If someone helps me they are going to want something in return or hold it over my head.”
“I’m afraid of rejection or it will make me appear weak.”
These are all very real reasons why many won’t admit they need help or struggle with accepting it.
If you find yourself needing help and don’t want to ask, evaluate the root cause of what’s stopping you from asking. Consider who is in your village and lean on those people. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised at how many people are willing to step in and lift you up.